“It’s all good; June is the perfect timing for a sleepover.” She whispered on the phone. Details; Crib clean, check, liqueur check, fresh breath check, smooth vibe….. You know what? I got it. I’ll admit I had prepared a bit too much.
Next day, exact time as agreed, you are at my doorstep looking all good and ready to get down red lingerie!!! How I like it.
You walk in after leaving a lingering kiss on my lips. You make yourself comfortable on the chair. I just vacuumed off all the dust. A glass of water, your request, I hurriedly get it for you. I seat some inches next to you and hold your hand…you seem to take a deep breath…..
Then, an instant pause, you calmly speak, looking straight into my eyes. “I don’t think I can do this,” You repeat as if I have not heard you the first time. “My conscious can’t allow me to do this.” You don’t hesitate; you stand up and get some clothes from your bag, ask me to show you the bathroom, enter, or you come, a bit different this time around, clothed…the red lingerie…gone.
My mind goes wild. Who does this? Is she joking with me right now? What kind of prank is this??? But boy, she was serious. Even more serious, she started quoting Scriptures on me. Words cannot express how crushed I was, let alone my friend down there. However, it was still her right to change her mind. Here are some few facts about sexual consent;
1. Sexual consent can be withdrawn at any time. It doesn’t matter why someone chooses to withdraw consent and when. If you decide to have sex with someone after they withdraw consent, that’s rape.
2. It is crucial to find out from your partner if they are genuinely game with having sex with you or accept them because they feel the need to please you.
3. Find out from your partner what sexual activities they are comfortable/not comfortable with.
Remember, for anything to be magical or amazing, there needs to be informed choice. Yaani, both parties should know what they are getting involved with and be okay about it.
These facts made me make an informed, mature choice, which is to respect her decision. Yes, sex consent can be withdrawn!
Ann Nduta
The expressions in this blog do not necessariy refelct those of One2one Kenya or LVCT Health
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